where she stops, nobody knows

Technical difficulties galore, both of the internet and of the brain.

Internet: server went down (boo!) so site was offline for several days. I feel certain this was noticed by someone other than me.

Brain: Zoloft has, thus far, failed to transform me into a cheerful, optimistic person. Shocking! I am, however, developing new and exciting levels of anxiety. Now, not only does worry keep me from falling asleep, it actually wakes me up! Yes, I wake up in the middle of the night simply to stress out about things. The muscles in my neck are like rocks right now.

We’re taking Happy Fun Baby on his first plane ride tomorrow morning, which I’m sure is contributing to the anxiety. Flying with baby! Will he cry? Will there be a hassle getting through security? Will I get in trouble for holding him on my lap (as opposed to buying him his own seat)? Will the airline lose our luggage? Then there is the secondary worry about seeing my old friends for the first time since giving birth. I’m at least 40 pounds heavier than I was when I last visited, and the thought that people will look at me and think Wow, she’s really let herself go won’t leave me alone. I’ve never had this kind of body issue before; it’s novel.

Since I’m devoid of actual, non-anxiety related content today, I will leave you with a link to an amazing cartoon from Minimum Security about South Dakota Senator Bill Napoli and his ideas about women and choice.

3 thoughts on “where she stops, nobody knows”

  1. Good luck to you on your trip, Cranky Mama! Please share your tricks on surviving the plane ride with Happy Fun Baby. We haven’t taken our babes on a plane yet, but I know that the day will come soon. Anxiety does suck and my 4-month post baby body isn’t helping my mood either. Love reading your blog. I’m cranky, too. 🙂

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