When Not So changes Happy Fun Baby’s diaper, he has a whole routine. There is the diaper-changing song. There is the ceremonial Holding of the Clean Diaper by the baby, who stops wriggling in order to devote his full attention to this critical task. There is the countdown to diapering (“One…two…three…butts up!”). There is even the baby-powder shimmy, in which Not So grabs the baby’s ankles, holds them aloft, and gives them a wriggle. It takes Not So about three times as long to change the baby’s diaper as it takes me.
Happy Fun Baby likes Not So’s diaper changes the best.
The baby thinks I’m okay, too. I have the Magic Boobs, and therefore I am required whenever the world becomes too much for him. It’s hard to be a toddler. There are so many things he can’t do, like reach doorknobs and talk, and there are even more things that he isn’t allowed to do, like play with mama’s cell phone, change channels on the TV, and climb from the futon to the top of the end table. But, see, if I would just let him climb up there, he could reach the lampshade! I am a mean, mean mama. He tells me this at length, but since he doesn’t speak English yet, I remain blissfully ignorant.
Although, today? Today he was coloring (a new development in and of itself) and when Not So said “Here is a red crayon,” the baby quite clearly and distinctly said “Red.” He repeated it several times for good measure. Can full sentences be far behind? (Of course, he then proceeded to call all the crayons “red,” so perhaps signing the baby up for podcasts is a bit premature.)
I’ve been woefully tired, probably because me and my Magic Boobs haven’t had a day off in more than a year. We’ve been working nights, too, since there are molars on the horizon and Happy Fun Baby’s sleep has gone to hell. Not that it was far from hell before, but now? Now I think fondly of the nights when I’d “only” get four solid hours of sleep. I think I’m adapting, though. I might not remember what it’s like to be well-rested, but I no longer feel like my brain is encased in cotton. Which is a good thing, really.
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