Yesterday I totally impulse-purchased this Naturalean Complete Day/Night Energizing Cleanse thing from Whole Foods, which promises to “Kick-start your diet in 7 days!” followed by an asterisk, which informs me, sotto voice, that this statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. I figured, why not? My diet is certainly in need of a swift kick.
What the box contains is a jar of “Metabolic Advantage” thyroid formula pills, which contain a boatload of Vitamin B12 and a bunch of enzymes (such as the entertainingly-named “Multi-Glandular Complex” – hee!) as well as seven packets which contain a nightly dose of “Fiber Formula” and “Laxative Formula” pills – eleven pills per packet. Eleven! That is a lot of pills.
I started taking everything last night, and today I feel GREAT. Like, crazy-manic rearrange-the-whole-house great. I! Have! So! Much! Energy! This is a novel change, and one I plan to take advantage of by cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen and then maybe going for a jog. Because I have so much energy, you see.
In other news, the kid slept in his bed for the first part of last night. Slept! In his bed! This is cause for celebration, especially since it meant that mama got to have the entire grownup bed to herself for three hours. Ahh, sleep. How I have missed you.