I am a person who watches the Vampire Diaries now.


I swear I wasn’t going to watch The Vampire Diaries because A) it’s on the CW and B) it sounded like True Blood lite, but then I got sick, and I watched all the other TV in the world*, and there were 44 episodes on Netflix, which sounded like it would last me a reasonable amount of time.**

But then Ian Somerhalder was rocking the crazy eyes and the no shirts, and there was plottiness with just the right amount of silly over-the-top drama, and everyone was very impulsive and attractive*** and there was a lot of gothy techno. WHAT IS NOT TO LIKE HERE. I ASK YOU.

But, so. It’s been like a week and I’ve not only watched the 44 episodes on Netflix but also the latest 6 on the CW’s horrendous monstrosity of a streaming service. I am delighted to report that, three seasons in, Ian Somerhalder is still doing the crazy eyes and wandering around gratuitously shirtless. I will say this about the VD writers: they know their target audience.

But on an unexpected note, the show is actually pretty good. There are plot arcs. They develop interestingly and are solved satisfyingly. Plot twists are employed. Romances are thwarted. Mythologies are (mostly) internally consistent and retcons are few. Essentially, they do none of the things which irritated the crap out of me about True Blood. Which I don’t watch now. Because, dumb.


Look, it's the Crazy Eyes! What, did you think this would involve Ian Somerhalder shirtless? For shame.

As of next week, there will be recaps. Brace yourselves.

*Well, in the sense that we don’t actually have TV**** and all the other shows on Netflix looked dumb, or I watched them, or I started watching them and decided they were dumb.*****

**Except if you have ever MET me you probably know about the thing I do where I just watch and watch (or read and read) until there is NOTHING LEFT ANYWHERE and then move on to Wikipedia where I learn everything there is to know about whatever it is I’m currently obsessing on and AS AN ASIDE if there were a way to monetize my knowledge of entertainment trivia all our money woes would be solved forever.

***Except, ironically, for the male lead, Edward Stefan, who I can’t take seriously due to his very pointy nose.

****And in fact our television is ACTUALLY BROKEN, which our child believes is the biggest crisis ever OMG, except seriously, kid, you have an iPod touch AND I let you watch shows on my iPad so really.

*****Sorry, Breaking Bad.