Bumpity bump

The Bump at 20 weeks

So there are a ton of celebrities who are pregnant right now,* which leads to one of my least-favorite tabliodisms: The Bump. Firstly, ‘bump’? Really? I guess it has more zing than “pregnant belly” but it sounds like some sort of accessory. Which is exactly how it’s treated by the media, which seems to think that The Bump is something akin to a really gaudy engagement ring or a new tattoo. A celebrity is “hiding her bump in a thick winter coat” or “showing it off in a fitted maternity dress.” Just…really? It’s part of her body, dude (the media doesn’t mind if I call it dude, right?).

As I am currently sporting a Bump all my own, I can unquestionably say that it is impossible to leave that thing at home. When it’s cold, I wear a jacket over it, which I suppose does serve double-duty by hiding it from potential paparazzi. When it’s warm, The Bump is more visible, and I guess that could be construed as showing it off, though I am not entirely sure what choice I have. Personally I wouldn’t say I was showing it off unless I had festooned it in garlands or painted it neon or something, but YMMV.

I feel bad for celebrities, is what I’m saying. Except for the part where they have more money and (generally) better hair than I do.

*Yes, I know, there are always pregnant celebrities, and indeed pregnant non-celebrities, but I always notice them more when I am also pregnant because obviously they are copying me. What.