belated tidings of nailpolish

I promised to report back on the nailpolish, didn’t I? Well, it’s a good thing I’m so prompt and not, like, almost a month late on that. Or anything.

nail polishAnyway, yes, nailpolish. I luuuurve it. The colors are fab, it’s super shiny, and it lasted forever on my toes. (Fingers = another story, but that’s mostly because once the polish chips at all I start worrying at it and the whole thing goes to hell. Yay, OCD!)

toesOne weird thing: it’s darker on the nails than in the bottle. Which I guess makes sense, seeing as it is essentially paint, and they say that about paint, right? Although it’s never quite made sense to me. It seems like it should be the opposite, and I can’t figure out why I think that but I do. So the Tramp Stamp color (pictured) is somewhat more gothy than I’d intended, which figures, since all my nailpolish is pretty gothy. I thought I was taking baby steps in another direction, but as it turns out I was wrong. Oh well.

So the verdict is that the butter LONDON 3 Free polish is a win, and I would totally buy it again if it wasn’t $12 a bottle. Or if I wasn’t so broke.

in which donuts are consumed

I’m out of coffee, so Ellison and I took a stroll and picked up a latte and some donuts. I love donuts. It’s not even the sugar – I really wish I could get raised donuts without any glaze. Then I would buy them by the flat and eat them for every meal of every day.

On second thought, maybe it’s best that I can’t get them.

I had an uneventful bout of online window shopping last night. For those who don’t know, online window shopping is much like actual window shopping, only in the comfort of your own bed. I am a huge proponent of activities which can be undertaken while snuggled under a blanket. I visited the Gap, where the denim pencil skirt I want so badly is still not on sale, and Old Navy, where it is inexplicably 1987, and 6pm.com, where the shoes are cheap but indexed so badly that you have to wade through twenty pages of bespangled mules to find a simple pair of flip-flops.

Despite adding several things to various carts, I didn’t buy anything until I got to Drugstore.com. Or, specifically, Beauty.com, which now shares a cart with Drugstore.com. I clicked over on a whim (and because the kid was sleeping on my chest, so what else was I going to do?) (digital illustration, shockingly enough, is v. difficult to do with one hand) and completely by accident stumbled on –

Well, here, let me give a little background: I’ve been searching for nail polish that is free from Formaldehyde, Toluene, and Dibutyl Phthalate ever since I got all weird and paranoid about chemicals (about the same time I switched out all my cleaning products for Method and Mrs. Meyer and Ecover) but it’s been just impossible to find. Which is weird, right? I live in Portland, for crying out loud; we’re practically the epicenter of the environmental movement. But, whatev. So I’ve been searching online, but aside from some weird water soluble (?) or peel-off (??) polishes, it’s been a big no-go.

BUT! When I clicked over to Beauty.com, I found butter LONDON 3 Free, which is not only all non-toxic, it’s British. I got some in Union Jack Black, Tramp Stamp, and Come to Bed Red. Will report back on final result, which I fully expect will be full of fabulousness.

The caffeine is finally hitting my bloodstream so I’m going into web design mode. Cheers, y’all.

is it monday already?

It’s Monday. And it’s June. How the hell did that happen?

I foolishly jinxed myself a couple of weeks ago by saying – out loud – that I intended to take some time off in June. Now, of course, I am inundated with unsolicited projects, which is lovely, of course, because I love my job, but also a wee bit frustrating. (Not that my “time off” would be actual time off, per se – I have a novel to finish, after all, and a toddler to…toddle, and a house that desperately craves some TLC, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.) So I’m torn between doing a happy little dance because I’ve got new projects and kicking things. I could always do both! That’s the principle behind Goth dancing, after all.

But I did manage to kick last week’s Cold of Death after only a day and a half of real illness. YAY, IMMUNE SYSTEM! Managed to kick it and still get the house tidy enough to have a friend over on Friday. I never have friends over! It was glorious, and why don’t I do that more? I mentioned the social anxiety thing in my last post, but what I don’t think I mentioned is that my social anxiety is SO MUCH BETTER NOW. Seriously, the Wellbutrin might not have done a lot for my, you know, chronic depression, but it went to town on my social anxiety.

Used to be, I literally could not be in a crowd of people without feeling like I was stuck inside my head. You know, watching the whole thing from about three feet back and cringing every time I spoke? Yeah, was not what I would call “good.” But ever since I started taking the meds, I’ve had no problem being in group situations. Even if there’s more than two people in the room, I feel like I’m actually present. It’s so neat!

Curiously, the lingering bits of social anxiety seem to coalesce around the making and execution of plans. I still hate contacting people. I still would rather poke myself repeatedly in the eye than actually call someone on the phone. And I still spend the time leading up to a social engagement in a state of hair-rending panic, imagining all the myriad ways I could make a fool of myself and cause everyone to forever shun me, which I probably did the last time they invited me anywhere, and they probably just invited me this time to be polite, and OMG I SHOULD JUST STAY HOME.

But as long as I ignore all that, I always have a fantastic time. And it’s getting easier to ignore, sort of. Sort of. Depending.

In other news, I posted another video post. Whee!

bore da

So I’m teaching myself Welsh. Yes! I am a crazy person. I can’t tell you that in Welsh yet, of course. Currently I am limited to basic introductions (Good morning! I am Jessica!) and the declaration that I am going to a club. (I am not going to a club, actually, but I could tell people I am. In Wales.)

I was inspired, of course, by a combination of too much Doctor Who/Torchwood (Cardiff is so pretty!) and Not So’s flat disbelief in the idea (“You’re going to teach yourself Welsh. Really.”) which is CLEARLY A CHALLENGE. So what if I have no talent for languages? I will learn Welsh, yo, and then we will go to Wales and I will converse with the locals and it will be glorious.

Moving on.

But, yeah, that’s what 34 has been so far: unrealistic goals, undertaken with great enthusiasm. Could be worse, yeah? My birthday was surprisingly Not Terrible, and it involved a gift of perfume from my beloved and a vast amount of chocolate cake. Can it be my birthday everyday, maybe? And we got our tax return, too, so it’s like my birthday and Christmas, only minus the pathos! It was good timing, too, because our DVD player picked last week to completely lose its little electronic mind. This could have been tragic (small child + me trying to work – televised entertainment = DOOM) but we were all flush with cash and financially irresponsible and splurged on a high-def Blu-Ray player. Hey, it was on sale! And we already have a high-def TV, so, really, it was almost sensible. (Need any purchases justified? Give me a ring!)

I also got a cheap and unimpressive (but functional, I think) external mic, so there will be another video post in the very near future. I can’t say exactly when, since we haven’t gotten to the “time” section of the Welsh lessons, but soon.

tattooed strippers for the win

I finally got to go to the Sinferno Cabaret at Dante’s last night, and I’d just like to say, if I wasn’t all flabby and lacking in any sense of rhythm, I would totally want to be a go-go dancer. Except that I would need more tattoos, obviously, and possibly some piercings. Oh, and I think I’d need to be about ten years younger. But then! Then I would totally do it.

(Let’s face it: if I’d have gone to that place before I had the kid, I would probably have been all over it. But – alas! – I no longer have the preternaturally perky boobs and cute little flat belly. It’s a shame.)

This was the first time I went out – like, at night, to a club, where they check your ID and stuff – since a brief sojourn to Dakota last time I was in Santa Cruz. And that was a little bit lame, since none of my friends came, but last night was a freaking blast. I totally didn’t expect it to be, because – well, let’s just say I thought there would be rather more righteous indignation aimed in the direction of my flaky alcoholic friends and less grooving out while girls in various stage of undress had money stuffed into their waistbands. Good times, good times.

I don’t think it occurred to me how much I miss my friends. Well, it sort of did, but it hasn’t really been at the forefront of my mind, you know? It’s so nice to be out with a bunch of people who you’ve known forever and you don’t have to worry about. Also? Some random girl in the bathroom told me I looked hot, and the ridiculously cute cocktail waitress ran her hand down my arm as she walked past. I AM SO NOT JUST A FRUMPY MOM-PERSON WITH ANXIETY ISSUES.

Today I have post-club voice, which means I sound hoarse and sexy. Whee! I should go do a poetry reading or something. Yeah. I’ll let you contemplate that train wreck while I go have some more coffee.

resolve face

Happy New Year, internets! It’s an even-numbered year, which always makes me feel vaguely twitchy, but I have high hopes for 2008. If I knew anything about numerology I’d probably have something pithy to say about the auspiciousness of all the numbers adding up to 1, but I don’t, so I’ll just…move on to something I do know about. Like resolutions! I resolve things. I do. And sometimes I actually do the things I resolve. More often not, since I tend to forget my resolutions by roughly January 2, and don’t remember them again until the last days in December, when…well, it’s a bit too late to lose 20lbs by that time, yes?

So in an effort to keep this year’s resolutions in the running, I give you my list:

* Finish at least one novel (incl. rewrites – I technically *finished* at least one during NaNoWriMo, but it needs to be reworked, to put it mildly) and submit to agents
* Exercise at least 2x/week
* Schedule 2 afternoons/week to devote to playing/spending time with the kid
* End next year with at least $5000 in our savings account (current balance: 68 cents)

I feel like there ought to be more in there, like “Get thee to therapy!” or “Learn to Salsa!” but I’m going with what I have. Optimism! Optimism is my friend.

Except maybe there should be something in there about my hair.

hair