Oh my gosh* it’s been a long week.

Not So is finally back from SXSW, which is utterly lovely and means I can sleep in every once in a while without a very persistent preschooler demanding that I get up and put on Yo Gabba Gabba. I have nothing against Yo Gabba Gabba, but I do have something against mornings. Mornings and I have a long and complicated relationship and I like to deal with them on my terms, which involve coffee and denial.

And then, of course, we’ve got to add Daylight Saving Time into the mix, which is just plain unkind. Oh hey, now I have to get up even earlier in order to look like a functional adult! It’s a good thing my kid sleeps late, is all I’m going to say about that. If I’d had one of those ‘up at dawn’ children I’d be typing this from a padded cell somewhere.

But enough of that! Things are back to normal in the Cranky household, and I have recommitted to the Cranky Pixels blog in a way that does not involve candles and invocations but may involve a blood sacrifice, if cheeseburgers count toward such things, so I will actually start posting things that pop into my head instead of just thinking that would make a good blog post all the damned time. Not that I do that! Because I am deeply sane and also not obsessive at all.

*I am trying to curb my swearing, and it’s been a total fucking success.

slightly less unhealthy: the blog!

slightly less unhealthy illustrationSo I started another blog.

I had this Vox blog, right? And it was just sitting there, last post dated early 2007, and I was thinking I should just close the account when it occurred to me: I could repurpose the blog. That way, I could have a recipe blog without actually starting anything new! It is just like recycling.

So now you can read all about the things I’m making in the oven (I’ll omit recipes which are primarily composed of smoke and misery). Behold: it is Slightly Less Unhealthy.

i feel pretty

Oh hey, look at that: the site, she has been prettified. I finally got the new template looking the way I want (which isn’t the way I thought I wanted it to look, but isn’t that just the way?).

sneak peekThis is the comp I did when I was messing around with ideas (and was testing out background textures – basically, this all started with a yummy leather texture I found on iStockPhoto). The original iteration had each feed item making a stripe across the entire screen, with the main content in a nice container on top of that. Which is one of those things that looks lovely and simple on paper, but turns out to be the world’s biggest pain in the ass in practice. Yes, I know, it’s all about z-index and what have you, but there were floats, and they were actively campaigning against me, and…wait, you totally don’t care about any of this, do you? Especially because, once I finally got it to work, I decided it looked ghetto and nixed the stripe idea.

PipesThis marks my first foray into Yahoo! Pipes, as well…and it was, surprisingly, much less painful than I’d thought it would be. Sure, it’s ugly, and I could probably have done it more efficiently if I had any bloody clue what I was doing…but it works, and isn’t that really the point? I’m pulling in feeds from all sorts of different places, and spitting them into my sidebar all neatly styled and prettily updating, and I’m quite pleased with the result. Especially since I used PHP to handle the feed. Which I totally don’t know! But I managed to hack my way through it without asking Not So for help, even once.*

Let me know if it looks funny to you. I mean, weird-funny, not funny-funny. Or maybe I don’t.

*Full disclosure: I did ask Not So for help, but not about the feed/PHP thing. And I ended up not needing his help anyway, so it’s totally like I did it by myself. Right? Right.

stuff and fluff

Started to do a new theme & lost interest after opening several tabs. That’s the drawback of tabs, isn’t it? All that instant gratification is perfect for my attention span deficit, but by the time I actually click over I’m on to something else. This also may have something to do with the fact that I’m so sleepy I can barely see straight. And yet.

illustrationI did get Step 1 of the Great Blog Revamp finished, in the form of an illustration I actually like. Lookit, it’s me! Only, you know, illustrated, with Anime eyes and slightly better hair. (Aside: We took a “vacation” to Bellingham last weekend, or possibly the weekend before, and my hair looked like crap the entire trip. A sign? I say it was.) Oh, and I guess if I’m going for accuracy I ought to have a hole in the toe of one of my socks, because apparently I have a sock problem. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.

So I have this great illustration and a brain full of…well, mush is a good word, and a kid (have I mentioned the kid?) who is somewhat less willing to sit quietly while mommy works than one might expect, at least not after mommy has already spent the day working on things that actually pay, in theory.

I have ideas, though. Most of which seem to involve bending WordPress to my will and forcing it to dress up like a pimptastic version of Tumblr (or maybe Swurl – Swurl does all sorts of thrilling things with file types, which would fill me with joy if only I could customize it a little more)(and by “a little more” I obviously mean “rip its guts out and tie them into pretty bows and then reattach them in an entirely different configuration,” and if you aren’t craving some Burton* right now, I clearly haven’t done my job).

But I do have ideas, and that’s something. I also have dark chocolate gelato. So if you’ll excuse me.

*And I still haven’t seen Sweeney Todd, can you believe it? I mean ever, not just the Tim Burton version, which is obviously superior to all other versions, because hello, Tim Burton?

in which my long unexplained absence remains long and without explanation

You’d think, after disappearing* for the better part of a month, that I’d have some elaborately concocted excuse for why I haven’t blogged or posted one of my hilarious** video clips. You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.

Among the excuses I could give (the business, the kid, the OMG SRSLY OUR BANK BALANCE IS WHAT?!?), the one that comes closest to explaining my inexplicable Lack of Post is completely superficial.

I mean that literally. Despite all my recent redesigns, my blog? Does not fill me with love.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. There are things I like about it. The video section, for example. I like that. Well – I don’t hate it, anyway, and that’s almost the same as like. But the handwriting is so played out, and I was never married to the color scheme to begin with, and the teal*** looks much, much different on, oh, 98.9% of monitors which are not mine (and different, in this case, is not better), and it’s just boring as fuck, and frankly I can barely stand to look at it.

There. Glad I got that out.

BUT I’m working on a sooper seekrit**** illustration/theme revamp thing which I might even finish sometime this century, assuming I don’t forget, lose interest, or die. So the blog love, it might come back. Maybe.

In the meantime I’m going to force myself to post, much in the way one forces small children to take a bite, JUST ONE BITE, OH MY GOD IT’S NOT MADE OF POISON and besides DON’T YOU LIKE CHICKEN?!?!!***** Because otherwise the not posting will turn into its own reason not to post, which will then compound my rabid dislike of my blog design, which will in turn develop feelers and teeth and wee little claws and eventually devour me in my sleep.

*I say ‘disappeared,’ but seriously, people, I am one of the most compulsively findable people I know.

**Other adjectives may apply.

***Yes, it’s supposed to be teal. Shut up.

****Not all that seekrit, apparently.

*****And the less said about that, the better.