The Dreaded Growing-Out

You’d think, considering how often I chop off all my hair, that I’d be an expert at the whole growing-out thing by now. You’d think that I’d have more tools in my hairstyling arsenal than hats and despair.

Trust me, this is as good as it was going to get.
Trust me, this is as good as it was going to get.

I loved, loved, loved the extensions I got for Mother’s Day, but they’re long gone now and I’m left with…well, this:

In the absence of an on-call hairstylist, I did what any girl in my situation would do: trolled Pinterest for ideas about how to grow out a pixie cut without wanting to jam scissors into my eye.

Pinterest had many good ideas, most of which seemed to presuppose that the natural disposition of one’s hair was somewhat more tractable than mine. I did notice a couple of themes in all the growing-out posts: curling irons are our friends, and the hair over one’s ears is not.

Ignore the dire face.
Ignore the dire face. It’s just my face.

So I curled. Yes, I curled. Then I got bored of curling and busted out the scissors instead. I trimmed my sideburns and the horrible tufts over my ears, and thinned out my bangs a little. And the result is…pretty good, I think!

I’m much happier with it and may actually go outside without a hat sometime in the nearish future. Possibly. Especially now that Rory unraveled my favorite hat.

Here is an animated gif to memorialize the transition. You’re welcome.

If this GIF does not play it's because of science or something.
If this GIF does not play it’s because of science or something. Also the cleavage is not deliberate; I’m a nursing mama and boy does it show. ::clutches pearls::

more about my hair, naturally

So everyone knows I loathe and despise my hair (and, show of hands: who is surprised by this?). I’ve been thinking for a while of getting it cut, which is sort of entertaining, since some people (cough*NotSo*cough) think that since I used to cut my hair using nothing but scissors and the force of my will, I ought to be able to pop into the bathroom and emerge looking like…if not a million bucks, then at least  a crisp $20.

All of that is true. Other things that are true? I am a) not twenty-five anymore and b) somewhat lacking in the copious and under-appreciated free time that allowed me to spend a lackadaisical afternoon trimming my hair in front of a mirror. Because when I was twenty-five, the choppy haircut was cute and a little bit punk rock. Now? Well, there’s a reason hair salons make so much money, and being able to entrust the attractiveness of your head to a qualified professional is a big part of that.

BTVS screenshotAnyway, I was (re)watching Season 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and decided that Willow’s cute college hair would totally be cute on my head. Of course, I am conveniently ignoring the fact that Alyson Hannigan (that’s her on the left) has straight, agreeable hair, while mine has just enough wave to cowlick all over the damn place. I hate my cowlicks. I really do. There is nothing cute about hair that insists on growing in the wrong direction.

But I could rock that look, right? Let’s assume for the moment that I don’t intend to dye my hair red (which…hey, never say never, right?). Would the flippy layered thing work, or would I just look like I was growing out some cuter, shorter style?

My big worry is that I will swerve right past cute and look something like this:

me at 12(That’s me at age 11, in case you were wondering. And oh my god, I loved that sweater.)

The point could end up being moot, since I am somewhat disinclined to leave the house these days and salons tend to prefer it if you actually, you know, show up. Plus everyone – everyone – likes my hair long. The kid is absolutely obsessed with it; he grabs on to it at night like a security blanket. Which, uh, is kind of one of the reasons I want to cut it, actually. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to be woken out of a sound sleep by someone yanking on your hair? I will tell you: very annoying.

Yeah, we’ll see. I might just shave it all off and be that aging woman with a buzz cut. Sort of like a chubbier Susan Powter. Yeah, that would be a good look for me.