6 random things

newborn me1. If I’d been a boy, my name would have been Jeffrey David.
2. My parents were sure they were having a boy. So sure, in fact, that they hadn’t discussed girl names.
3. I was named after my father’s dead ex who was stabbed to death by her boyfriend while on the phone with her alcoholic mother. Why my own mother went for this, I will never know. Perhaps after the 70s-era C-Section she was disinclined to be picky.
4. My mother claimed she wanted to name me Alison, after the character in The Magus, but it’s my mother, so: grain of salt.
5. I would have like to have been named Alison. Also Sara, Julie, Susan, or (briefly) my old middle name, Diane.
6. When we got married, we both changed our middle and last names. So there! (I have the same first name as always, though…clearly I didn’t think that one through.)

in which my long unexplained absence remains long and without explanation

You’d think, after disappearing* for the better part of a month, that I’d have some elaborately concocted excuse for why I haven’t blogged or posted one of my hilarious** video clips. You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.

Among the excuses I could give (the business, the kid, the OMG SRSLY OUR BANK BALANCE IS WHAT?!?), the one that comes closest to explaining my inexplicable Lack of Post is completely superficial.

I mean that literally. Despite all my recent redesigns, my blog? Does not fill me with love.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. There are things I like about it. The video section, for example. I like that. Well – I don’t hate it, anyway, and that’s almost the same as like. But the handwriting is so played out, and I was never married to the color scheme to begin with, and the teal*** looks much, much different on, oh, 98.9% of monitors which are not mine (and different, in this case, is not better), and it’s just boring as fuck, and frankly I can barely stand to look at it.

There. Glad I got that out.

BUT I’m working on a sooper seekrit**** illustration/theme revamp thing which I might even finish sometime this century, assuming I don’t forget, lose interest, or die. So the blog love, it might come back. Maybe.

In the meantime I’m going to force myself to post, much in the way one forces small children to take a bite, JUST ONE BITE, OH MY GOD IT’S NOT MADE OF POISON and besides DON’T YOU LIKE CHICKEN?!?!!***** Because otherwise the not posting will turn into its own reason not to post, which will then compound my rabid dislike of my blog design, which will in turn develop feelers and teeth and wee little claws and eventually devour me in my sleep.

*I say ‘disappeared,’ but seriously, people, I am one of the most compulsively findable people I know.

**Other adjectives may apply.

***Yes, it’s supposed to be teal. Shut up.

****Not all that seekrit, apparently.

*****And the less said about that, the better.