In which we learn just how sleep-deprived I am

My WakeMate came in the mail yesterday.* What is a WakeMate, you ask? Well. It’s this thing, you see, and you wear it while you sleep, and in the morning you can see exactly how restful your sleep actually was. Also it keeps track of your sleep patterns and the idea is that it can tailor your wake-up time to your sleep cycle so you wake up feeling all chipper and refreshed.

Also, it’s very stylish and I think I will wear it during the day as an accessory.
WakeMate armband
(I kid.)

I was super excited to try it out since I wake up every morning feeling like I got run over by a truck. Sleep is supposed to be restful, right? I mean, I’m not a morning person under the best of circumstances, but between Not So’s insomnia and the kid leaping into bed with me every morning to snuggle (have I mentioned just how many elbows and knees he has?) I feel like I’m trying to sleep on an amusement park ride.

Anyway, so. I’ve tried tracking my sleep using things like YawnLog, but it’s hard to be objective about things like sleep. I’m pretty sure, for example, that the nights when I’m like I totally didn’t sleep AT ALL I probably did sleep, some. Maybe.

But the WakeMate will answer the question once and for all.

(Have I mentioned how much I love gadgets?)

I set up the app on my iPhone, which was pretty easy.

There was a certain amount of turning things on and off (and having to go to a specific page on the WakeMate site for instructions, since the little card that came with the device was somewhat exceptionally vague – probably because there are different instructions for each gadget you can sync it with) but once I got it all charged up and discovered on my phone’s Bluetooth I was ready to go.

Then I just had to, you know, sleep.

Here’s where I’d start talking about how my night went, but it would be a lot easier for you to just, you know, look at the chart:

Yes. In fact, I slept like crap. Sure, I was in bed for 8 hours and change, but it took me 23 minutes to fall asleep! And I woke up 24 times in the night! No wonder I feel like a zombie.

The device itself was remarkably unobtrusive. I barely noticed the wristband while I slept and there were no incidents of me yanking it off and throwing it across the room (which was a thing that happened to my retainer in high school, about which I apparently harbored extreme ill will).

I can’t wait to find out how I do tonight.

*Do I seriously have to mention every time I post about a product that I don’t do sponsored posts? Seriously. People do not give me things. And if they did, trust me, I would state that upfront.

snap crackle

My nose is doing this thing where it feels like little pop rocks are exploding in my sinus cavity. If you thought to yourself “Wow! That sounds like fun!” you are sadly mistaken.

Also: I can’t get sick now! I’m going on vacation in a week! Exactly a week, in fact: at this time next Tuesday I will be emerging from an airplane in a Valium-assisted haze in New York freaking City. It goes without saying that sniffles and a sinus headache would seriously cramp my style.

In an effort to nip this whole illness thing in the bud (and also because the kid is driving poor Not So completely batty at the office, what with the whining and the demanding and the inexplicable banging of things what are not meant to be banged) I elected to stay home today, thinking I’d get some rest while catching up on housework and working on my laptop. Take a moment and look at that sentence. One of these things, as Sesame Street was wont to say, does not belong. Can you guess which one it is?

So, yeah. On the plus side, I’ve got laundry going and dishes going and I did a bunch of work. On the minus side, there are pop rocks in my sinuses.